My VBAC story. Warning: VERY LONG!

Many of you have asked me questions about my recent VBAC(vaginal birth after ceserean) so I thought I would blog about it.:) Since this is already going to be long I will only be talking about the emotional and spiritual side of things, not the actual labor story. But if you would like to know more about my actual labor please let me know and I will post or email that to you because I do have it in writing.

Before I tell my story I want to say that I believe there is a definite time and place for c-sections. God has used c-sections to save many babies lives and I will never discredit the fact that they are necessary in some situations. However, I do feel like my c-section was unnecessary. But, as weird as this may sound, I am THANKFUL for my c-section. Was it painful physically, spiritually and emotionally? Absolutely. But now that I have healed from those pains I can say that I am thankful because without it I would not be the woman am today nor would I be sharing this wonderful story with you.

Because I would rather focus on the vbac story rather than my c-section I will not explain in great detail why I had a c-section. Let’s just say that I did not take care of my body quite like I should have with my first pregnancy, which lead to a series of events that brought me to my c-section.

After I had Ellie I began to pray immediately that God would allow me to one day have a baby vaginally. My c-section was not the end of the world, but I so wanted the pleasure of seeing my baby for the first time and not having her taken from me within minutes of birth, not to be seen for several hours and too drugged up to even remember much of her birth day.

During my process of the healing time someone gave me the book “Supernatural Childbirth”. I began to pray these prayers over my body and my future baby. When I found out I was pregnant with Olivia I knew in my heart that God WAS going to give me a vbac.

I’m not going to lie, many people would tell me not to get my hopes up because the possibility of a vbac is so slim. Fear started to set in that I would not be able to find a doctor who would even let me attempt it. But, God is good, and he led me to the wonderful Dr.Cummings, who from the beginning believed in my body’s ability to have a baby naturally. One thing Dr. C always focused on was my MIND. Most doctors want to know every detail about your body but not your emotional or physical side. This was not so with Dr.C. He told me from the start that if my mind was not in the right spot I would not have my vbac. So I began to pray that God would transform my thinking and only allow me to dwell on positive thoughts.

Once again, God was so good to protect me from all of the negative things people would say to me. Many people would remind me that there is a .01% chance of uterine rupture…how could I chance that?? I will tell you what I told them: “I would rather feel the pain of failure then the pain of not trying at all”.

To condense a VERY long story (lots of ups and downs emotionally about the vbac during my pregnancy) I will skip ahead to the delivery day. I went an entire WEEK OVER DUE! To anyone who has ever been pregnant you know this is an ETERNITY in pregnant years! Once again, I started getting remarks…”I can’t believe you aren’t being induced, that is sooo bad for your baby!” But I knew that my due date could be off so I stood strong. Dr.C wasn’t concerned so neither was I. The reason I did not want ANY medical interventions was because when God told me he was going to give me a vbac he also told me I had to do things HIS way and not take things into my own hands.

I FINALLY went into labor on the morning of February 5, 2009. Because I had been reading “Supernatural Childbirth” I was also praying for a pain FREE labor and delivery. So when the first contractions started and were a little painful I thought, “this must be it, I must be about to have this baby because I am believing for no pain”. Boy was I wrong!:) We got to the hospital and I was only dilated 2 cm. The nurse on call proceeded to tell me that I was CRAZY for attempting a vbac because she attempted one and it lead her to her hysterectomy at the age of 22. Luckily, Dr.C was at the hospital so he dismissed me and told me to come back when I was in serious labor.:) So we left for a few hours and returned only to find I was dilated to a 3…are you kidding me?! At that point, Olivia’s heart rate was questionable and Dr.C was a little concerned. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach because I knew that if God didn’t do something NOW I would end up with another c-section. However, Dr.C agreed to let me labor for another hour to see what happened. He told me to walk around the hospital to speed things up. Before I started walking, me, my doula, Matt and my mom all gathered together and prayed that God would take control of things. Within one hour I dilated from 3cm to 6cm..thank you Jesus!

I remember as I was laboring the pain was so intense and I was questioning God “where are you? Why so much pain? I prayed for no pain!” The only thing that kept coming into my head was from a song “there’s a light at the end of this tunnel, shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you”. I also kept the Natalie Grant song playing at all times in the background “I will not be moved”.

After several hours of long, hard labor Olivia Grace Gilbert was born vaginally with no pain medications! The Lord delivered her by his grace, hence her middle name.:)

A few things I learned from my vbac experience:

1. The pain of failure is much better than the pain of not trying.
2. When God gives you a vision or a dream, he will bring that dream to pass in HIS timing (i.e. I had to wait an entire week past due date, patience is a virtue!)
3. God never promised no pain in the midst of the storm, he just promised to be right there with you to endure it.
4. There will always be someone or something that satan sends into your life to make you believe your dream is not going to come to pass (i.e. my first nurse at the hospital told me I was endangering myself and my baby and I had to sign something saying I was okay with that)
5. Follow a leader who you can trust. I knew I could trust Dr.C to be honest with me because he was a believer and had a relationship with the Holy Spirit.
6. Surround yourself with people who believe in you so when the “going gets tough” you can lean on them for Godly counsel. If I had not had a Christian doctor, doula and husband who believed in me I would have never had my vbac.
7. BELIEVE in yourself and the abilities that God has put within you to achieve great things. Dr.C told me everytime he saw me that it was all or nothing, I either believed it could be done or I didn’t. There is no middle ground when it comes to believing in your dreams.
8. There will always be an “easy” way out during a trial but that doesn’t mean it is the right way or God’s way. I was offered an epidural and a c-section(not by my doc) during labor but I knew that that was not God’s plan for me or my baby. This goes back to having a vision, if you don’t know before the storm what your vision is then you and your dream will perish.
9. SUCCESS is so much sweeter when you have to work for it! If I had not experienced the pains of labor I would not be truly thankful for what I accomplished with God’s help.
10. The Lord is faithful to provide everything we need to succeed as long as we turn to HIM in times of need!